20 Characteristics of a Sociopath | true love scam recovery

Jennifer Smith
10 min readOct 31, 2020

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Sociopaths are Real…

It likely sounds dramatic, an impossibility, and maybe a bit like fear-mongering to say with calm confidence, oh that guy? He’s a sociopath. Or, Her…? She’s just a sociopath.

The breaking news is, it is neither dramatic nor impossible. It’s practical and sensible. It is scary. However, calmly knowing sociopaths exist and are real and what that means is how we unplug the damage of the sociopath effect and influence.

The fact is a sociopath is a real thing. A common reality. There are humans all around us who function from sociopathy.

It’s critical we take in an understanding of this phenomenon. It’s only been openly talked about since sometime in 2014 when the online communities of those in personal romantic relationships that went more than sideways began blogging and asking: what is this? — As did I. 2014 is when I started writing and coaching others to safety and back to themselves after freeing myself from an international con man criminal, in short — from a sociopath.

The Good News: Sociopaths Are Simplistic in Nature

Though sociopath is a big scary word, the characteristics of a sociopath are really tiny and limited. And distinct. There’s a good reason for this: a sociopath is a sociopath because they have a brain significantly different from the regular brain… yours or mine. Their brains are structured so that they have no sensation or experience of feeling any bonding, love, care, or consideration for other people — or animals. — They do pretend to.

The attachment or interest they display for others is where we begin to feel horrified because it’s not like ours. And it’s not good. Other people hold no meaning to them aside from using that person for the sociopath’s personal gain. This means they’re what’s commonly called a con man or con artist, or scammer. And they come in male or female versions.

Brain Scams Reveal the Sociopath: Psychopath Brain

There’s hard science to demonstrate the difference in their brains. Brain scans by neuroscientists reveal the portions of the brain attributed to feeling love, and compassion just don’t function.

There’s Nobody Inside

In real-deal terminology, the pathological predators we’re talking about here are called: antisocial psychopaths. This brain biology includes having no conscience. We’ll call them sociopaths… And some people think of them as “narcissists”.

They Do Not Connect

Calling what they put out towards us a “connection” isn’t quite the thing since they see us as an object to grab and smash; something like a natural resource they hold the rights to. They truly believe that they have every right to make use of humans as you or I would make use of a vacuum cleaner or a blender to get something done.

The thing is, we care more about the well-being of our vacuum cleaner than a sociopath does about us or any other human. They make use of others in absolutely any way they like. The word, “exploitation” comes to mind.

This is really hard for us to believe. It’s humanly impossible to absorb in one single moment the reality that there are people who look human, just like us, but are missing the “humanity chip”. Taking this in is a process.

We Are Not Responsible for The Predator’s Inhumanity

People without a conscious are bereft of good as if they’ve scorched the very roots of goodness within their own lives. They aren’t “choosing” to not care; this in itself would come from a place of caring. They have no place of caring within them. These are people who embed themselves into people’s lives to take, use, and do whatever they want. This is their real “work” whether they have an actual paycheck or not. ~ Jennifer Smith, True Love Scam Recovery

How Do Sociopaths Do What They Do?

When individuals operate without a conscience they are able to do horrible things we would never dream of doing, and there is no moral compass or guilt feelings to stop them. ~ Dr. Deborah Ettel, PhD Psychology

The Sociopath Effect Is Inevitable

In order to hook, use and take from targets, (that would be you or I, just regular people) every sociopath uses the same little tricks and misleads and lies. This takes effect in one-on-one relationships, in romantic or work situations, towards religious leaders or politicians; anywhere you find and admire or like someone who is a sociopath this hook will take hold.

Where ever there’s a sociopath in a group, a family, or an organization. The predator gets busy in a true love faux-lationship or superior-acolyte in any setting. The arc of hell and the crazy plays out in five stages. Always, and also in every one of these set-ups.

This Is The Only Way It Goes

There’s no deviation from this pattern of hook and use and break-away. It might be carried out over five days or 50 years with any particular morsel of prey — but there’s no variation in the way a sociopath functions or effects prey.

Everything they do and say is in an effort to make use of those around them is for their survival. We are their livelihood. This survival is dependent upon us believing they’re normal. This is not easy for us to see. It takes time and taking in a new perspective to see this thing we never imagined existed.

Our experience with them is traumatic and so is coming to terms with what they are. Not all trauma is bad!

Sociopaths are Identical, Predictable, and Limited

So many give credit to the sociopath as a master manipulator, a genius liar. I beg to differ. It’s time to look again from another angle, so we can stop giving them the power. They claim to be amazing and talented geniuses — and we do at first see them as masterly wizards of manipulation and at the antics, they pull.

In reality, sociopaths have very limited thinking. They are severely limited, have specific thinking and feelings, and have no other way to think or feel.

What they feel as raw emotions is desire or need, and then glee when they get what they want, anger when it’s threatened or taken away, rage when their sam is being seen through, and fear. They have a great fear of being exposed which fuels endless rage at being caught or exposed.

They Lose it When They Lose

If they’re at risk of exposure they lose it; when exposed they risk not getting what they want or getting away with it they become wild cornered animals.

They frantically and erratically hop from one tactic to another trying to get their house of cards back in place. They come up with elaborate stories, fake illnesses, disappear, kill, cry spontaneous sheets of tears… rage and threaten and blackmail (like, if I lose, I’ll leave the United States…). The nearer they are to losing it all, the more they lose it.

The profound fear they live with is one of the things they don’t want us to realize about them.

Confusion is The Vibe

The reason we feel so confused is that this is nothing like anything we’ve known before. And… It isn’t anything we can see by using the way we normally think to look at it.

The whole mess is a fake-lationship. A faux-lationship. We think we’re in a real relationship; the sociopath knows it’s not a real mutual human relationship.

Sociopaths embed themselves into people’s lives to take, to use, to make use of us, and to do whatever they want. This is how they spend every single day; this is their “work”. It is how they survive.

The Con Brings Post Traumatic Stress

As a confused and hurt person trying to find answers, to decipher what’s going on, understanding the characteristics of a sociopath lets us see from an angle that supports our understanding. This also saves our mental and emotional — as well as physical — health and allows for healing.

It’s not easy to fully comprehend and takes time to see it, but the fact is, we’re nothing more than a piece of equipment or an object to the sociopath. Beyond that, we’re despised and held in contempt.

This is so hard to grasp because we’re fully human. We love and support those we love; we don’t view them as expendable resources. Sociopaths are the antithesis of loving and giving; they only take and as the fallout of their taking, destruction is all they bring to the table.

A Sociopath Can Be Anywhere: The Park, A Party, at Work

Because pathological users are anywhere we might be, we need to learn how to recognize them. Their real power when you think about it is that we can’t recognize them and so not be affected by them.

Sociopaths exist in every social, regional, and economic realm. Most crave riches with insatiable desire. Paradoxically they can handle living in a box on the side of the road until the next target with a nice warm home comes along. Why…? It’s the result of having no emotional connection to things, people, or places.

Pathological Parasites Are Anywhere We Might Be

Predatory parasites dwell in trailer parks in Wyoming, on ski slopes in the Alps, in board rooms across the world, within the profiles of online dating sites, at church, in bars and clubs, in the grocery store, or at the dog park.

Sociopaths hunt prey in the workplace, on Facebook, in chat forums, or at a party. We can meet them at the grocery store, in line at the post office, getting gas, or through friends.

It’s said that one-in-25 people are sociopaths and are either male or female. We’ve all heard the phrase: hiding in plain sight. We’ve got to change how we “see” — our “sight” — they’re plain as day.

20 Characteristics of a Sociopath

  • Fun, charming, and entertaining. Super polite when meeting new people.
  • Display impressive knowledge or skill at something. This proves to be limited or fake.
  • Have a primal perception as far as what concerns us, what we need, and depend upon; this is used to make false promises, make deals, and as possible blackmail.
  • Are easily offended. They fluster and bluster when offended and lash out.
  • Lie about all things — except those odd moments they tell the truth.
  • Believe they’re better than everyone. Express misogynistic, racist, homophobic, or other prejudice and hatred.
  • Crave a good reputation.
  • Crave status, power, possessions, and money, yet exist at any level of society.
  • Have delusions of fame and importance, though they might live in the Metro station.
  • Mimic our authentic emotions and social mannerisms as best they can.
  • Have no capacity for care, concern, or love, though it sometimes seems they do.
  • Think of themselves as victims. They can cry fake tears at the drop of a hat.
  • Are sexually promiscuous and often simultaneously avoid sex with a primary prey; someone they’ve put in place as a primary “partner”.
  • Do any horrible, illegal, or immoral thing they want to do and to absolutely anyone.
  • Think their prey (partners, spouses, girlfriends, etc.) should be grateful.
  • Take pride in their scams. Run several scams simultaneously. Many women; many men.
  • Believe everyone deserves whatever it is that they do to them.
  • Smear their targets and prey; loudly, publicly, online in court.
  • Have outbursts of rage. Can be violent. Talk about dying, killing themselves or others; and do sometimes kill.
  • All of them know they are monsters; they’re proud of it and enjoy it.

Count On It

There are more characteristics that are identical sociopath to sociopath since their state of mind is based on the limited and abnormal brain that takes someone a sociopath.

They commonly are discovered to engage in shocking sexual practices, they avoid paying taxes, skip child maintenance in cases of divorce, cheat at absolutely everything, and have others do their work. Even with seemingly legit employment they ultimately live off of others’ lives, efforts, finances, respectability, and magnanimity.

We Can Recover After Breaking Up with a Narcissistic Sociopath

The most devastating thing a sociopath creates is disunity. Disunity from self and from others we love Even a separation from others we don’t know as our life shuts down and closes in to a very small thing centered on them and appeasing them. We end up in a spinning place of off-kilter confusion, more than walking on eggshells.

We must find the way to reunite with ourselves, with all and everyone around us. Recovering from this trauma takes non-judgemental support and encouragement.

With accurate and true information and understanding of what a sociopath is — and what we are as gorgeous, loving humane, human beings, we can heal and get our lives back. We can trust again, laugh again, and love again.

Sending all good things…Jennifer Smith

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide, and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.

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Rewrite and extracted from the originally published article at https://www.truelovescam.com on November 5, 2014.

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Jennifer Smith

Jennifer coaches and guides people through recovery in the traumatic aftermath of a “relationship” with a sociopath or “narcissist”.